the inflation and deflation of dreams

an entire lifetime lived in a moment

it was happy
we were not

Working Through

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and swing...

Today, I wished I was a fruit fly. I saw one hovering, and was instantly envious. What a life, to float around, seeking sweet and sour smells. Being too small to be bothered much, and not often thought of with the negativity associated with other critters. Less ability for thought. Less experiences that make one feel sorrow, loss, frustration. But also, no potential for bliss, joy, laughter... right now, it seems worth it... just to not have the human experience of pain and disappointment. Well, one moment at a time. 

So, I came across this... and thought it was... entertaining to read:

I have been trying to focus as of late on the idea/truth that: If you can't find something, you're trying to hard.

I need to relax, and enjoy the journey more. Stop searching so hard for things I think I need and want, and welcome things as they come to me.


Also, I love Emma Thompson. She said: "I don't want [women] ever to think they have it all. I think that's a revolting concept. It's so false! Sometimes you'll have some things, and sometimes you'll have other things. And you do not need it all at once; it's not good for you."

eye color
quote retrieved from here

Om

I came across this cool yoga poster, and thought I would pass it on (Link to bigger version: here). :) Happy Saturday!

Gleeming

So, I am going to stop blogging on a blog I have had for 3 years, for various reasons. As I was gleaning through the meandering posts from that blog, I found something I would like to publish to this blog. 


You can make your own Jackson Pollock art!


Also, a few books that I reviewed, that I would still recommend others read: "The Elegance of the Hedgehog," by Muriel Barbery; "Born to Run," by Christopher McDougall; and "A New Earth," by Eckhart Tolle. 


Some movies: "The Royal Tenenbaums," "Son of Rambow," "Hanna" and "Source Code."


A POEM

The desires of the heart are as crooked as corkscrews

Not to be born is the best for man

The second best is a formal order

The dance’s pattern, dance while you can.

Dance, dance, for the figure is easy

The tune is catching and will not stop

Dance till the stars come down with the rafters

Dance, dance, dance till you drop.

–W.H. Auden, “Death’s Echo”

And some quotes: 
"For happiness, how little suffices happiness!... the least thing precisely, the gentlest thing, the lightest thing, a lizard's rustling, a breath, a wisk, an eye glance--little maketh up the best happiness. Be still."Friedrich Nietzsche


“What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the print I have read in my life.”
— Walt Whitman


"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." -- Friedrich Nietzsche


The highest form of bliss is living with a certain degree of folly.~Erasmus

It's never too late to be what you might have been.~George Elliot

"When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships."-- Andy Warhol


"What did you do as a child that made the hours pass like minutes? Here is the key to your earthly pursuits.” — Carl Jung


Ezra Pound: 

VORTEX.

POUND.

The vortex is the point of maximum energy,

It represents, in mechanics, the greatest efficiency.

We use the words "greatest efficiency" in the precise sense-- as they would be used in a text book of MECHANICS.

You may think of man as that toward which perception moves. You may think of him as the TOY of circumstance, as the plastic substance RECEIVING impressions.

OR you may think of him as DIRECTING a certain fluid force against circumstance, as CONCEIVING instead of merely observing and reflecting.

THE PRIMARY PIGMENT.

The vorticist relies on this alone; on the primary pigment of his art, nothing else.

Every conception, ever emotion presents itself to the vivid consciousness in some primary form.

It is the picture that means a hundred poems, the music that means a hundred pictures, the most highly energized statement, the statement that has not yet SPENT itself in expression, but which is the most capable of expressing.

THE TURBINE.

All experience rushes into this vortex. All the energized past, all the past that is living and worth to live. All MOMENTUM, which is the past bearing upon us, RACE, RACE-MEMORY, instinct charging the PLACID, NON-ENERGIZED FUTURE.

the DESIGN of the future in the grip of the human vortex. All the past that is vital, all the past that is capable of living into the future, is pregnant in the vortex, NOW.

A song

I am not feeling very chatty today. Here is a link to song I like to sing along to.

Confession

So, there is this weird thing I do. When I am in public restrooms, and often at friends' homes, I will urinate in the toilet and not flush it. I have a lot of weird ideas about wasting water, or something. At my old house, we had a saying: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down;if its red flush that shit." So, yeah. I think it is really strange that I do this, but I will throw toilet paper in the trash, or if there is a sink nearby, abstain from using paper products at all (washing thoroughly afterwards, of course). Anyways, I feel like it is strange, but I do it just the same.

image

Korean Dramas

So, a friend was telling me about Korean Dramas, and how she was addicted to them. I have never heard them. I may check them out, when I have projects to work on. I found this site that suggests the "top 5."

Musings

Lately I have been coming back to the thought of "always do your best." Sometimes your best is all that and a ten dollar bill. Sometimes it is hardly adequate. But giving the most I have to offer in that moment, or for that day and not beating myself up when I slack or slide. Trying to let go of thoughts such as "I should be doing this or that." To ask myself, what can I do. This applies to goals that I have. Sometime I can cross them off, and sometimes I can't or don't for one reason or another. I have also been thinking a lot about the idea of accepting, and how it really can be one of the most powerful ways to interact with the world. Do you best, just for now, and accept that your best will change from moment to moment, and that is alright. Accept that you cannot control or change anything external to yourself. You cannot will something to be, especially when the agency of another is involved.

[Don't remember where I took this image, sorry]

I love walking barefoot

textures of the ground

telling me their stories

oozing mud, so, so divine

sand, sending me to a world without time

rock to keep me safe and humble

cold water to shock me

warm water to calm me

sensory input

a connection to the earth

thank you, thank you, thank you

image

Advice

So, worrying, and talking to a friend the other day, he gave me his only rule to the dating game: have fun. If you are not having fun, you are doing it wrong.

I worry too much. I stress, and daydream. I want things to move fast. I want guarantees. I want validation. I want to do and say the right thing. I am doing it wrong.

Have fun. If you are having fun, you are doing it right.

I like fun. Time to start having more of it.

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Chakras

If there is any theme, concept or "thing" that seems to always be popping up in my life, it is the chakra system. I found this amazing image on the prAna blog.